Dear Greedy One,

I like a little experimenter who goes above and beyond the call of duty. You definitely get a gold star for extending your experiment to include your husband’s cock (couldn’t you have extended it a little further in my direction?). So why don’t you stay after class today in order to discuss your extraordinary progress? That’s right. Go ahead and shut the door.

What’s that? You can’t stay? Then I’m laying some serious homework on you, naughty girl, and I’ll expect it on my desk first thing in the morning. At which point I hope you’ll shut that door.

This is an assignment in two parts. First part: report on the impact of pornography on society by reporting on its impact on you. Specifically: take off all your clothes, you lithe little thing, position yourself in some particularly exposed part of your house (with your computer), and talk dirty to Google. In other words, tell it your most recent fetishes as specifically as possible (the mind reels at what scenarios might be getting you hot and bothered lately), then find videos or photos of your fantasy and let yourself get actually hot and bothered. Now, I realize that the vast majority of the world’s Internet-using population does this every day, so here’s the catch: timing is essential here, i.e. time your open-door masturbation to dirty pictures to coincide with your husband’s entry into the room. Extra credit: turn up the volume much louder than necessary in the hopes (my hopes, at least), that your sexy neighbors will hear.

You can take a little study break between parts one and two of this assignment. I imagine your husband will insist upon it. But don’t neglect your task for long….

Part two of your pornography experiment will begin when you suggest to your husband that – inspired by the images you’re now both watching – you recreate a similar scene and make your own pornography together (I hesitate to call it “porn” since in your case the eternal question – Is it pornography or art? – will surely be answered by “art”). I don’t care how you do it – cellphone camera? actual video? sketchpad? Jell-O sculpture? – and I don’t care what you’re doing while you’re doing it. What matters is that you be your own little porn star for an hour or so.

And then I will repeat: what matters absolutely most of all is that you have a complete report of your investigations on my desk in the morning. Extra extra credit: have yourself on my desk along with your report, and I’ll cover you with gold stars.

Hit the books,

X

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