Having been challenged to propose a game, I offer this in response. I call it, Build a Dare. A word of warning, this is bit long winded. First of all, the design of a game is really the design of an experience. When it comes to personal expression and exploration (especially sexually) the type of desired experience and the ingredients to create that experience varies widely depending on the individuals in question. This game is intended to lay a groundwork that is versatile and adaptable to the individuals playing. And yes, this game can potentially be played via e-mail…

You’ll need 2 or more players, a game which fits that number of players, paper and pencil (or other means of recording information). The game chosen should be relatively quick (not Monopoly) and carry with it an amount of skill or luck preferred by the players. Chess creates an experience of a dual of wits and skill, while dice or Rock Paper Scissors creates an experience of chance and uncertainty. Card games are often a good middle ground.

First, decide which player the dare will apply to. If desired, the players may play their chosen game in order to determine the subject of the dare (loser is dared, or winner chooses who is dared).

Once a subject for the dare (dare-y? Sounds too much like food) has been chosen, the players should make a list of locations that the dare might potentially take place in. These locations should vary from locations the subject is perfectly comfortable in, to locations that are at least a little bit out of the subjects comfort zone. The list can be as long or as short as the players desire, but should have at least 3 elements. Examples: private, a bar, a club, a train/bus, a parking garage, a hotel, in front of a window… Once the list is made, the players play their chosen game. The winner selects a location from that list. The dare’s location has now been chosen.

Now that the location is known, another list can be made. What action is to be taken? This is obviously very vague, so allow me to make a few suggestions. Actions could include the wearing of certain clothes (or removal of certain clothes), a line or type of line that must be spoken to someone (a secret, a desire, a pickup line?), or a more direct action that must be taken (touch someone, touch a body part, have an orgasm). The actions listed need to be tailored both to the individual and the location, but again there should be at least a small range of possibilities. As before, play the chosen game and the winner chooses from the list.

With a subject, location, and action determined, what more is there to decide? Context. The next list requires a little bit more creativity. Context helps inform what sort of experience the location and action are intended to create in the subject. This can include something the subject must be thinking about, the presence or absence of other people at the time of the dare, or a specific time or event during which the dare must be carried out. Play the game again. If the players agree to it, the winner may choose multiple elements from the list (but may never choose them all).

The final list to be created is the details. A set of ground rules, if you will, to clarify the dos and don’ts of that particular dare. Whatever sort of challenge the subject must undergo as a result of this game, it is crucial that the subject is safe, mentally and physically, during the dare. This final list is to be sure of that (or to clarify any previous elements which came out slightly vague in earlier rounds). It should be made by all of the players collectively, including the subject, and while elements may be discussed, added, and removed, there is no game played to determine which elements are used. They are all used.

Additional rules and variants:
Group Dare: Depending on the group of players, it may be decided that everyone must carry out the chosen dare. The rest of the game is played as written, but when a player must choose a piece of the dare, that player is choosing for him/herself as well as for the other players.

Time Delay: The players may choose to set a delay between each round (that is, making a list and playing the chosen game once), both to allow the players time to come up with elements to add to the next list, and to let the dare ‘sink in’ as it develops. One round could be played each day, or each week.

Dare Betting: Instead of making a list before playing the game, make the list as the game is played. When a player wishes to add an element to the list, the opposing player may choose to veto that addition to the list, but forfeit the game, allowing their opponent(s) to make the final choice. I’d still recommend starting with at least 1-2 elements on the list (in case of an early forfeit).

In closing, I have no doubt that many of you could find great enjoyment in this game (as I designed it just for you), but it is also true that most of you don’t need such a game in order to come up with dares, experiments, and challenges for each other. Whether or not any of you choose to make use of these rules or not, I hope the possibilities are intriguing. Enjoy.