Yes, unimpressive service would diminish, if not totally remove, all attraction for me.

This got me to remember something. I added it to your after xmas count-up, lake.

Lol… This is exactly why I posted this, I had a feeling things would split along these lines. And now it has me thinking (I hope you don’t mind me teasing you a little here Luis).

This is going to be stereotypical, but I can’t resist starting a little debate men against the women (I’m really so bad… Oh, and I am throwing in with the women on this).

We live in this world where we have to assume (for our sanity in a Cosmo world) that we will be to be judged by the quality of our person, we work so hard, accomplish so much, become so deep… And you guys fall all over yourselves for T & A. I know you say, it is all the other stuff that REALLY means something to you, but do you see how there is still a bit of a conundrum here?

I will take a bite knowing that I might not be able to spit out the hook I am about to swallow…

My first reaction to your question was that “it depends…”

Undoubtedly competence is attractive whether it is a man or a woman, Conversely, real incompetence is decidedly unattractive…but real incompetence is a pretty low standard!

So the simple answer is that I would absolutely forgive unimpressive service for a woman who possessed certain…redeeming…physical or personality attributes.

By the way, I think your “conundrum” is more nuanced than you are suggesting…not only is there the double standard you suggest, there is also the age double standard where men are perceived to age better as well. Under that rationale, the best anyone can do is to be a competent young woman or an competent older man.

I will say this however, I will take a sexually skilled and competent woman who is in touch with their body and their emotions and fully expressed, on each and every day of the week. Fortunately, especially for the participants on this thread, that particular combination is almost the exclusive domain of older women. It just almost never exists in younger women. And there is a big gap between fucking someone and wanting to be in a relationship with them.

Now, if the server happened to be totally incompetent but truly gifted in other ways, I would be my sincere hope that my sexually enlightened and competent and emotionally stable and centered companion would not only indulge my efforts to take the poor young beauty home to fuck her brains out, but might actually pitch in to help make that possibility a reality. In the end…she would undoubtedly enjoy the sweet rewards of both having ravaged the beauty herself (a totally passive-agressive “fuck-you” to the girl in my mind), AND kept the man (not to mention if I were the man, there would be more than a few “bonus” points awarded for redemption at a later date – say – when I invite the hot male yoga instructor to stop by the house for a drink and to watch the game, after I notice her undressing him with her eyes!)

-James