Hi,

I used to be an insecure wife, years ago, same as yours and, may I say, same as many more. Hubby helped me with lots of patience and his camera at hand. For a few years I have posed nude only for his eyes. Then I told him that his compliments are biased because, you know, he’s in love with me. After much consideration, I allowed him to publish my nude pics on the web… And that changed my mind: reading what other men, perfect strangers, had to say about my body, my looks, my moves, etc. Now I’m a happy cougar bunny and Southern Charm – and I enjoy it to the max!

Maybe you can try this with your wife. Gently and patiently!

Hugs,
Doris

Agree with Barrister that we need more information to give you some suggestions. Give me some idea of what her daily routine might be. What makes her feel sexy?

I do a lot of this now, thanks for the reminder because all of us guys don’t do this stuff enough. What I’m looking for is experiments that I can send her from( Mr X)

I do a lot of this now, thanks for the reminder because all of us guys don’t do this stuff enough. What I’m looking for is experiments that I can send her from( Mr X)

Based on what you have said, and agreeing that more needs to be learned to be truly helpful in you request, it seems that to start, much of what she may need revolves around things that she can do and experience on her own. Things that don’t “push” her so much as make her feel comfortable in going into the private safe secure headspace to wander around and explore different things.

In short, I would think that you are in need of finding and providing some sexual INSPIRATION in small digestible non-threatening ways. For me, there is nothing like a good provocative visual to get a reaction. And to be clear, this shouldn’t be “porn”. At first it may not even be nude…just suggestive of what is ABOUT to happen or is going on (there is a photographic genre call “implied nudes”). Start there.

One idea along those lines are to go on tumblr and find some sites that offer a variety of sensual/sexual images. Think of a “genre”…not the porn version (or at least not yet!) but the theme of subjects (men or women or couples) and settings and sensual or sexual activities that you think would appeal to her aesthetic and personal tastes. Type that theme or genre into Google, insert a comma, and then type in the word “tumblr”. Run the search and head straight to the archives of that site. When you see a picture you like, save it down to your computer and bookmark the page in your browser and look for the link to the site that it was “reblogged” from or even the “source”. Click through to that site and start exploring that new sites archives. Keep doing this, and I n no time you will find a virtually endless trove of images which fit your bill (and you will probably discover that there are one or two sites that seem to just consistently “nail” exactly what you are looking for and can be your go to sights for this material. I would send a series of these pictures to here, one or two a day at most, and over the course of a week or two, see which ones she responds most positively to.

Talk to her about it. Share what it was that you liked about it, and why you thought she might like it. Learn which ones produced an unusual or inexplicably strong viscerally reaction for her and move on from the negative reactions and focus on the positive ones (and and take special note of the ones she had a vociferous negative reaction to but can’t stop looking at, to circle back at a later date on whether she really didn’t like it, or whether she had an irrational reaction or was just too embarrassed or even ashamed to ADMIT that there was something that she actually really liked about it).

Keep in mind that it may not be the subject or the action shown that she liked, it might have been the style of the picture, or the composition of the photo, or the overall “look”, and make a point to send her a few photos that have the same look and feel even if they aren’t of the same subjects or theme. Once you think you have found something that she seems drawn towards, give her the link to that site.

Give her a task that she is to peruse it, and send you five pictures a day that she came across and liked from that sites archive. Tell her that she could click through to other sites, but ask her not to do that just yet…stay only on that site for the first few days or a week. Then make a point to talk (or communicate in some way) about your reaction to each of the pictures – after which she is expected to share her own reactions with you.

It shouldn’t take long before you find something that sparks her imagination and then you are to start upping the ante by finding photos in that genre and style that are progressively more revealing and overtly sexual and explicit (eventually graphically so!), and when you start to narrow down to certain things, that really are turning her on, then you can think up (or better yet come back and post your results here and let us help you think up!) how you might use your newfound knowledge to take it to another level…or just enjoy how you have found another easy and quick way to access her sexual mind…foreplay if you will…for some really good vanilla sex!!!

I can’t wait to hear whether you give this a try and what the results are.

-James

PS: Don’t do this right away, but if it resonates with her, you could quickly and easily register for your own tumblr page and instead of saving down the pictures and bookmarking the address for each specific one to your computer, you could just reblog them directly on your own page and give her the link to your site and have her check in there daily to see what you have posted. Who knows she might like it so much that she wants her own tumblr page and whether anyone else visits the page or not, at least you have your own private stash of sexy pics to share all hosted on the cloud and not on your computers hard drive and accessible wherever you are!!!

should not click through to other sites (at least not at first) and pic a few pictures that she like.

es and have her send them to you. Talk about your reactions, ask her what she saw in them and liked, use that knowledge to find other sites which post similar images in terms of subject and content and style and aesthetic, but progressively more sensual and more overtly and or explicitly sexual. Start with less graphic depictions and progress until you are sending more stark and unapologetic and wildly graphic versions along the same lines. and even explicitcomment which suspect would shock and surprise her, but exchange a surprisingly provocative as much as INSPIRE her to become more thoughtful and cand expressed to you. One of the things that I

You said you set up an “anonymous email and stuff” already. Start there. Email her, tell her you saw her at ________ and you want her to know she is simply stunning. Sign it “John.” That is it. See what she does. I think she will reply. THEN the fun begins.

First there has to be a foundation, some context for the engagement. So the content of your emails should provide that. In my opinion information that gives her a sense of who you are, why you’ve become her admirer, what you desire, all work well… Also what excites you about the interaction.

I agree with everyone here, it’s about catering it to the personal interests and intrigues of the two of you, tease those out, following them through, develop a deeper understanding of each other… and remember you paying attention to her is a very exciting aspect of this, so you need to do that, and it should show! Notice things (Don’t be generic or oblivious to any way that she is communicating… Note, I am NOT saying let what she communicates control events, I am saying do find ways to demonstrate that you that you got it – this is very important) meet her where she is and and move from there. As James emphasized progression and timing are everything, master these and I truly believe you can go anywhere. Extra points if you think at least a few steps ahead and build on something previous.

As for specific activities, let me think… Okay some general ideas below, you have to build them out with suggestions about what you might want her to be thinking or feeling during… what they will cause you to think or feel etc. again agree with folks here, if your not extending yourself and going too (going ahead even better) it falls flat.

– Send her out to pick up something lingerie, sex toys, a decadent drink in a uber stylized bar.
– Send her out for an experience an erotic poetry reading, a bondage demo, a blow job class, massage, active bar scene, etc. (extras: hint that you might be there watching, suggest what you’d like her to wear, give her something to accomplish there)
– Send her out to create a certain kind of interaction you can give her something to say, how to approach someone, write to someone, show someone etc.
– photo document, pics don’t have to be of her, can be of something that she encounters (a man she finds beautiful) proof of her adventures (underwear left on a chair), etc.

Remember timing and progression… You want to edge her out so that something is created… Bigger steps have bigger responses if done fully… But you risk her not doing it or not doing it well, and those can become steps backward, if not handled well. Again it goes back to whether your paying attention and your instincts about her, as well as whether you’ve created in her a desire to please you, a sweltering curiosity about herself, and enough of a tease to make her horny… Of course eventually the tease needs to move to delivering a result… Timing, timing, timing learn that line well, everyone is different.