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lake posted an update in the group
Your Experiments 11 years ago Kristye used to do a Christmas countdown that I loved and I have missed this year. I had the idea to do an after Christmas count up. Where people post little moments of sparkling chemistry, or pull, or flirtatiousness that caught you and the feeling that resulted has never left you.
These can be as short or as long as you like. Here are two that have come to mind for me.
This was more than ten years ago. The whole thing happened in less then a couple of minutes, but I still remember every moment of it in the most visceral way. I was out with a group of friends. We had all been drinking. We were walking from one bar to the next. One of the guys I am always sparring with, was taunting me and I was getting more and more riled up. When from behind one of the guys who is always quiet and composed much more reserved grabs me, hoists me back, puts his arm around me and pulls me into him, kept walking quietly with me like that. Almost like a father would who was gently trying to sort out his misbehaving children with physical soothing. He was tall and we fit together perfectly. At first I was in shock and not sure what to do… This person had never flirted with me or really anyone in our group. Then I just totally went with it, relaxed into it. My head leaned down to rest in the crux of his collarbone, he held me up, kept the world at bay and I had the most overwhelmingly serene moment. Then of course the first guy interrupted everything again.
Second one, my office crush unexpectedly put his hand over mine on the mouse to show me something. A bolt of lightning shot through me instantly and completely blew my nervous system. I was left deaf and mute for I don’t know how long.
I once asked for and received the tshirt from someone I’ve gotten to know a little bit, but have not met. When I sunk my face into it, I plunged into that chemistry. When I put on the tshirt, I soared.
You always give me the best ideas Mallory.
Very sexy… I think you must be her office crush.
Thank god for that one, you made it super thrilling for all of us!
I was at a holiday party. It was the end of a great night, everyone is clearing out. The owner of the company hosting the party walks up to me and takes my hand. He says, ‘I’m not one to throw a lot of parties, but if I was, I’d invite you to all of them’.
I left a holiday party fairly early. I was standing by the coat check room, waiting for my coat. A member of the other party at the restaurant came a little closer and said to me, “you must be with the other party. It sounds like it is so much more fun.” He startled me and we looked at each other for longer than appropriate stranger seconds. He started to say something when I was handed my coat. I remember that must have stopped him from speaking his mind, but he stood there and watched me put on my coat. I looked at him again before heading out the door. I wondered what he was going to say.
I think you are definitely a member.
About 17 weeks ago or so, I had an encounter as mentioned in Lake’s post. I felt compelled to document my thoughts and feelings about the encounter but I’ve yet to express them to anyone. It was as if this was my own little secret that I happily kept to myself. I’ll spare all of the details as my thoughts just kept rambling on and on.
I spotted a man, I’d never met before and had that whole electric shock, breath gasping reaction just from our eyes locking with one another. I couldn’t imagine the mess I’d have to clean up if we touched. Unfortunately, I was with my significant other and I couldn’t even question this gentleman’s name. Needless to say, I’ve kept my eye out for him or that similar feeling again.
It was a completely foreign feeling to me and I want to experience it again.
Why do you think you responded so strongly to him?
I’ve wondered that myself all of these weeks. The search for something new and exciting since my current situation has become mundane and lacking? I’ve googled meanings behind this and haven’t found any answers to satisfy my curiosity.
I pretty sure I have at least a minor addiction to this type of experience.
A good addiction to have. If just the look prompted me to write an 8 page essay… How many novels would be produced from a conversation, touch, taste, etc.
I want more.
Lol, Oh yes, but not without its challenges… But, in my opinion do not let that stop you!
I believe it is one of those things that you don’t have to go looking for, it something that is already always inside you. We just layer so much doubt, insecurity, mistrust, fear, dogma, etc over it that it becomes difficult to access or get to what I call, ‘open’. Think of those moments when you are most hopeful, most inspired, most unfiltered, or have completely let go… when as you’ve said everything becomes effortless. What your doing matters it speaks to you, you know it, and all the energy you need is just there.
I’ll put a bit of an example to it. I’ve mentioned my ‘office crush’ here before. In eight years I can tell you every time he has ever touched me. Every time it happened when I wasn’t expecting it… Viola, one of those moments… Just blown straight to open. Every time, I knew it was coming and had time to ‘prepare’ or shield so as to have the appropriate, safe reaction… It didn’t happen. Your body, your mind, wants to be eager, enthusiastic, to believe, to give, to experience so much more… So many rich possibilities, but we have all these reasons to deflect that; We’ll be humiliated, rejected, made a fool of, disappointed, hurt. These jump up to block our ability to move energy in and out, push it down, stifle us. We live so much smaller than what we are capable of.
Either a moment comes where our guard is not up (we are surprised or not at all prepared for that particular thought, action), our guard is let down or has slipped down (we trust or accept), or our guard is torn down, broken down, burned down.
I would be very curious how others would try to explain or characterize it, as I am totally making this stuff up just based on practical experience and feel free to agree or disagree.
Great to have you join the “conversation,” Lurkinglady! I think a lot of us here on SE, are drawn to eroticism of novelty and change, and to the adventure and excitement it stirs in us.
Extra points for having just meet the person on the plane… I’ve needed the double blanket traveling with someone I’m in a relationship with, but never with someone I’ve just met… Fantasized about it many times though. You have definitely been holding out on us Luis!
Here is one that is not really sexy (sorry), but definitely was an overwhelming feeling and rush of unexpected emotion that I will not forget.
I was with my team about an hour before a large presentation, we were testing, setting up, etc. I misplaced one of my folders and had become very frustrated with my inability to find it and had given up because I felt I couldn’t afford any more time looking for it. My ‘work husband’ came by and asked if something was wrong. I told him. He left and I basically continued what I was doing. Some number of minutes later, he came by, set the folder down next to me, smiled a big smile, and walked off.
First, it was incredibly perceptive that he even realized I was frustrated. Second, he had even less time than I did to spend looking for it. Third, the folder was not requisite for what we were doing, the only real value in finding it was to relieve my frustration (which was my own fault for being a dink). Fourth, he has no reason to kiss my ass, we are peers and I already have complete respect for him. Fifth, he did it with absolutely no fanfare, it is just who he is to care and to help, he consistently sacrifices in these ways, without ever considering it a sacrifices.
It absolutely caught my breath, and notched a place on my heart. It was a little thing, but it reminded me all at once of all the reasons why I love him so much… who he is, how he functions in the world, all that he means to me, how grateful I am for him.
I’m keeping myself open to all possibilities that present themselves to me. I’ve been weighing my options lately and the relationship I’m in. We haven’t been happy for years and I don’t want to waste my youth in misery. I would be perfectly happy alone as it would be so freeing to the soul.
That was very sweet of your office husband to have been that intuned to your needs of a presentation folder. I’m sure the thought of what his intuition could do to your body outside of the office has crossed your mind on numerous occasions.. as you have to get yourself in a different mindset to not allow your body to react to his proximity.
What stops you from acting on taking this a step further? Workplace romance policies? Your own committed relationship? His?
I’m mostly a “lurker” here, hence the name. 😉 I rarely post much… Though I’ve been tempted.
He is happily committed in a closed marriage, so we manage the chemistry appropriately… Though we do on occasion let it crackle a little 🙂
I like sexual tension and I don’t always need it to go to sex or love to appreciate or be happy that it is there. I think it is a very motivating force. Even at work, I feel teams with sexual tension are more collaborative, more productive, more committed, more inventive. I think our sexuality is a tremendous energy source that we barely tap, and have placed way too many parameters around to get the most out of it.
I would invite and encourage you to ‘come out and play’ as they say… It really is more fun, when your in the game… And hey, you’ve got eight pages of great material just sitting there… :). Regardless, of how you feel about posting more, I’m glad you jumped in here and I have enjoyed the repartee!
What is the saying, ‘ In the end what we regret most is all the things we didn’t do’?
Having seen your picture… this doesn’t surprise me 🙂
I’ve been thinking more about this, and wanted to come back and make a distinction, that I am curious about what other’s thoughts about it will be. To Luis’ point, reckless choices that have consequences we are not willing to accept\deal with… can absolutely lead to regrets. But there is also so much in between reckless and doing nothing, and I think where we decide to draw that line for ourselves is a real factor in determining the pace and quality of those ‘magic moments’ for us (and it doesn’t have to involve a stranger)… just a stretch 🙂
I’ll put an example to this. I was sitting at a black jack table in Vegas last year. I lost all my chips, but had a great time, including an hour and a half conversation with a guy I just meet,on how to get his wife to have anal sex with him. He was nothing but respectful to me and we had a fun, deep, honest conversation. When I got up to leave, he hopped out of his chair, gave me a big hug, and his business card. He owned is own business. He said, ‘if you ever need [the type of service provided by his company], I want you to promise to call me. I don’t care where you are, you call me… Promise!?’ I’ll not forget that, I could feel what it meant to him, and it filled me with happiness and energy… magic moment delivered. I took a risk, but it was a very manageable one for me, in terms of what I know I can handle (it’s pretty well established I am an extrovert and an instigator and know two kinds of martial arts), but I was still able to create an absolutely memorable, meaningful event.
What if you could create these moments for yourself with some level of regular success? Every year? Every month? Every week? Every day? Every hour? How far outside of your comfort zone would you be willing to test to get Better and better at it? How much of your dogma are you willing to re-examine? What risks would that create for you? In what ways do those consequences scare you? Are they completely real, logical fears?
A while back, I had hired someone to provide expert opinion in a litigation. He was extremely well spoken, articulated his points with an incredible level of expertise and he conveyed his message with a great deal of passion. He remained calm, passionate, and factual under cross examination. We did not share any special “moments,” but I could have been persuaded. Competence is damn attractive.